The "Me Time" Myth

I got this article off of the Crosswalk.com website: http://www.crosswalk.com/11598542/  Based on the comments, I don't think it was a very popular article, but I really liked it.  I can relate to it, because this used to be me.  Definitely NOT now, but there was a time.  Please don't read into this that I am saying that women should never get away for time alone!  The last paragraph sums it all up very well.  This is a good word for mothers that is worth reading:

I once heard a talk show host give a very compelling argument for why moms need time away. He said mothers give and give to the point of empty. They must refuel themselves so they can continue to give.



It sounded quite reasonable to me. Then why did my search for this hallowed “me time” always leave me feeling as though I needed more? While taking time for myself, I definitely felt refreshed, but the moment I got home and realized the sink was still full of dirty dishes and I would still have to give baths to all the children before the night would be over, I wanted to head right back out the door.


This left me feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn’t I have one night where I wouldn’t have to do the same things I do every night? Why couldn’t I come home to a spotless and trouble-free place where dishes were washed and children were in bed? Why did I have to go back to my duties so soon? To punish those who were making my life difficult, I would loudly sling dishes and be curt and hurried with everyone until I could get children into bed and escape to the sewing room or the computer for the remainder of the evening.


The next morning, feeling dissatisfied with the amount of me time from the evening prior, I would take my coffee, sit at the computer, and completely ignore my daily duties. I would get irritated with the children because their antics were cutting into my time. I was stressed and edgy and desperate for more. My children would call out for me and I would answer, “She’s not here right now.”


Then, I began staying up much too late in order to squeeze in more alone time. I dreaded going to bed because it meant waking up to children’s needs and a disaster of a house.


I became increasingly upset by my husband’s time off from work, along with the business lunches and the business trips. To compensate for the perceived unfairness of the situation, I chose to do nothing on weekends: no laundry, no dishes, no parenting. Soon, my weekends were spilling over both ends and into the weekdays. All of this only served to overwhelm me even more and feed into my desire to escape.


In a moment of clarity, as only the Lord can offer, I saw my behavior for what it truly was: selfishness. Along with this epiphany came the conviction to quit seeking Me Time.


Me Time is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. Me Time, by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of “wife” and “mother.” It accuses precious little ones and God-given spouses for suppressing us. It reduces motherhood to a disease in which little dirty faces and endless monotonous tasks slowly suck the life out of us. It says we can never be refreshed by spending time in the presence of those we care for day in and day out. It points out a perceived hole in our world that needs to be filled, a tank that must be refueled, a monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it Me Time.

The more we indulge the thought that we are somehow owed this time away, the more we will seek after it. The more we seek after it, the more every little opportunity afforded us to take a break will seemingly end too quickly. The everyday life of being a mother will become drudgery. We will dread every aspect of this role. We will snap at our children any time they try to draw us out of our precious time alone. Not getting this time will ruin our day, and if we do manage some time away, we will despise the re-entry.


However, with any lie, there is a certain amount of truth hidden within. There is an emptiness within us that needs to be filled, but only God can fill what you are aching for.


“The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.” Lamentations 3:24–25


Our time away should be spent seeking Him. Anything else we try to fill that emptiness with will fall miserably short. Likewise, the company we seek during our time away should be spent with people who are about the business of edifying and strengthening us in our role as wife and mother, not tearing at the very foundation of our home. We will never gain anything but resentment from the counsel of those who encourage us to seek self.


We must cease to see the role of wife and mother as a job we put aside at the end of the day. We must do our daily tasks cheerfully, as unto the Lord. We must learn to enjoy being home with our families. We must find contentment in serving others. We should spend more time drinking in the beauty of our children, searching their eyes, holding their hands, being Mom. When we do feel neglected or overworked, we must immediately seek the Lord to refresh us and keep us from sin.

There will be days when we are afforded opportunities to do things alone or with other women, but if we are content in our God-given role, we will no longer cling so tightly to these moments as the only way to save our sanity. Our need for Me Time will fade as we begin to see motherhood as a blessing not to be escaped, but embraced.

Written by Amy Roberts

Step by Step

God you are my God
And I will ever praise you
God you are my God
And I will ever praise you

I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
Step by step You lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

We sang this song in church on Sunday, and the words really spoke to me.  Such important words for us women, the ones who set the tone in our houses (whether we like it or not!)...us wives, mothers, homeschoolers.

I will seek You in the morning.  First thing in our day, we need to meet with our savior.  And then....we will learn to walk in His ways, and step by step He will lead us.  Otherwise...what happens?  We flounder, we go the way of our flesh, we become unfocused, impatient, angry...etc etc.  That's what happens if we try to go at it alone.  We need Jesus to lead us, step by step.

I don't know about you, but I couldn't do homeschooling without Jesus' constant leading!  I need him holding my hand, guiding me, continually showing me the next step.  Otherwise, I would become overwhelmed, decide it was just too hard, and curl up in a ball and hide!  But I am not supposed to be able to do it in my own strength.  God allows us to be weak so that His power will be strong within us.  Praise the Lord!

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." "2 Corinthians 12:9

Recovery

Hi everyone!  Wow, what a whirlwind the last month has been!  We are in recovery mode right now.  Next year, I am definitely scaling down.  I take on way too much, and end up frazzled and don't even enjoy the Christmas season as much as I could.  Today it was so nice to just enjoy my little baby.  I had so much fun--not having to spend the whole day baking or whatever--just holding and playing with him.

Today we officially took down the Christmas tree and all the decorations, and got the house back to "normal".  It's nice to get everything all organized.  I'm also back to working on the kids' school and getting everything updated...correcting papers that haven't been done yet and developing a plan for the rest of the year.  This is the time of year that I tweak parts that haven't been working.  Today I worked on my high schooler's transcript and overall high school plan, and finalized his Composition and Personal Finance course work for the rest of this year.  Yesterday I ordered books from the library for the girls' history reading assignments.

Okay, well that's all I have time for in this post...short and sweet!  The baby has awakened and I need to finish up dinner.

God bless you all as you finish up this year!

Staying Peaceful and Not Stressed

I am so so busy right now that it is really easy to become completely stressed out and lose the joy of Christmas.  I keep having to stop and remind myself that it is CHRISTMAS and to be JOYFUL!  This post on another blog really helped me this morning:

http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2010/12/this-means-war.html

Enjoy....and Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas Day Menu

Because I do two dinners in a row, and because I have two different groups of people, and because I like to relax a little on Christmas, I usually do the same hors d'ouevres and drinks on both days.  I usually buy a lot and there is plenty for both days.

Dinner:

Prime Rib
Garlic Mashed Potatoes & gravy
Gourmet Holiday Yams
Green Beans (or casserole from night before if any left)
Rice Pudding
Rolls

Dessert:

French Silk Pie
Pecan Pie

Christmas Eve Menu

Well, I was planning to be superwoman....I really, really wanted to be....but alas, there is this thing called reality.  I am making homemade gifts.  I'm baking up many treats.  I'm making two big dinners, one Christmas Eve and one Christmas day, complete with hors d'oeuvres and dessert and drinks.  I wanted to make every single dish myself, and I have some great ideas!  But I finally realized that I was going to totally stress myself out doing that, and so I accepted help from my mom and sister on Christmas Eve.  Christmas day is all me. That being said, here is my Christmas Eve plan:

Hors d'oeuvres:

Crackers
cranberry chutney over cream cheese
smoked salmon
cheese
spinach & artichoke dip
roasted red pepper tapenade
tortilla chips
seven layer dip
olives

Drinks:

Punch
Hot apple cider
Cranberry juice

Dinner:

Honey Glazed Ham
Twice baked potatoes
Yams (mom bringing)
Broccoli salad (mom)--Christmas Eve tradition--soooo yummy
Green Bean Casserole (Pioneer Woman's version)
Jell-O Salad (sister bringing)
Rolls

Dessert:

Mom's Pumpkin Spice Cake
Fudge tray

Christmas Day Menu will be posted tomorrow!

Chocolate Covered Coconut Balls

Here is a recipe for one of our favorite Christmas treats.  If you like Mounds bars, you will love these!  They are pretty easy to make, delicious, and make great gifts.

Ingredients:

1-3/4 cup powdered sugar
2 cups flaked coconut
1 cup finely chopped walnuts or pecans
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup sweetened condensed milk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 T. vegetable oil

In a large bowl, combine powdered sugar, coconut, and walnuts.  Mix well.  In a small bowl, stir together melted butter, vanilla, and sweetened condensed milk until well blended.  Stir into coconut mixture, blending well (I start with a spoon and then use my hands) until mixed.

Form mixture into about 35 (1-inch) balls.  Place on a wax paper-lined cookie sheet and refrigerate until firm, 1 to 2 hours.

In a double boiler, combine chocolate and oil.  Heat and stir until chocolate is melted, then pour into a small bowl.

With tongs, dip chilled balls, one at a time, into melted chocolate.  Let excess drip off, then place back onto wax paper-lined cookie sheet.  Chill until set, then place in container and store in refrigerator.

*Note:  If you want a nice shiny look, you can do what my mother-in-law does and add a small bit of parafin wax to your chocolate.

Family Christmas Party

Well, the busyness continues!  Yesterday we went out to my aunt's house for our annual Christmas party.  I brought some of my homemade gifts, a tray of my fudge, and my yams.  It was good to spend time with everyone.  The cutest thing was Adam falling asleep on Grandpa's lap!  "Santa" came and brought big huge stockings for each of the kids.  Adam's stocking contained, among other things, a big huge bear.  I have never seen such a big stocking stuffer...it took two of us to pull it out of there!  You can see my husband holding the bear in one of the pictures below.  Here are pictures from the party:



Andrew and Santa




Annamarie and Santa




Abigail and Santa




And here are a few of Adam and Santa...





Who on earth is holding me???




Hi Santa!



Me, hubby, and the kids with Grandpa John and Grandma Debbie

 More pics tomorrow...I must get going.  I am also hitting the stores tomorrow to do some serious Christmas shopping.

God bless!!

Busy busy!

Hey there everyone...yes, I am still alive...just busy in the land of homemade gifts!  I can tell that blogging is going to be less frequent for me this month, but I will do my best.  The kids and I are busy making homemade hot cocoa mix, cookie mix in a jar, cranberry chutney, peppermint bark, and fudge...all to give as Christmas gifts.

I'm making this hot cocoa mix.  I've made two batches so far, which equals 16 quart sized jars.  We are putting a decorative top on the jars, and tying a candy cane and a bag of mini marshmallows on top with pretty ribbon.  I will try to get pictures up soon.  The girls are giving them to their piano teacher, horseback riding instructor, gymnastics coach, Sunday school teacher, etc.

I will try to post more in the next couple of days, with more recipes and pictures.  I hope you are all having a wonderful, busy month with friends and family.  We have a family Christmas party coming up, and the girls are practicing for the upcoming Christmas pageant at church.

JESUS is the reason for the season!