The Lord Giveth, and the Lord Taketh Away...

Blessed be the name of the Lord!  My plan has been to do several posts on homeschooling, which I will be getting to, but I've recently been thrown off and thought I would share what has been going on.  I am currently going through my 3rd miscarriage.

On July 2nd, I was overjoyed to find out I was expecting.  I spent most of July and August nauseous, tired, and completely drained.  I was hardly able to do any of the things that I had wanted to do: gardening (I've kept up on the garden but didn't do nearly as much as I had hoped to), canning, making jam, etc.  I put off my OB appointment for awhile, and from time to time wondered why I didn't feel quite as nauseous as I normally do.  I wondered if maybe something wasn't quite right, but kept pushing it to the back of my mind and telling myself not to worry about it.  In fact, that's why I put my appointment off for so long, because I was afraid of bad news.

Last Wednesday evening, I went to the bathroom and noticed a little bleeding.  I hoped it was nothing, and was grateful that I had an appointment and ultrasound the next day.  Looking back, I am glad that I had the warning of the spotting the night before, because it mentally prepared me for the possibility of bad news the next day.  The next morning, at what should have been 11.5 weeks pregnant, I had an ultrasound.  I could tell immediately by the quietness and the face of my doctor that all was not well.  Unfortunately, the baby had never hardly developed.  There was basically just a big blob on the screen, and no heartbeat.  With my last pregnancy, I had gone in at 10 weeks pregnant and seen an obvious squirming little baby on the screen, so I knew this was not okay.  I started to cry, and the doctor and nurse were so kind and sympathetic.  As you can imagine, this was very hard news for me to accept.  All my dreams of that little baby suddenly were squashed.  The baby was not there.  There would be no little precious life being born in the spring. My teenage daughter texted me soon after to check on things, as I had confided in her that I was spotting and that there was a chance of bad news.  I was thankful for texting because I was crying so hard I couldn't talk.  I told her the news and asked her to pass it on to Daddy and her brother and sister.  It was very hard.

I was given three choices: wait and let my body miscarry naturally, take a drug called Cytotec to induce miscarriage, or schedule a D and C.  I opted to wait it out, but was told if it didn't happen within a week, I needed to choose one of the other 2 options.  After a lot of research, praying, and talking with my husband, we decided to go with the D and C if my body didn't do it on its own. 

God is good, and in His way that only He can do, He allowed me to grieve the loss very quickly.  I cried for a day, and woke up the next morning totally fine.  I grieved that fast.  He has helped me to focus on the positive, which are many, many things, the biggest being that I do have four beautiful, healthy children.  I am so grateful for that!  The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord!

I have been praying hard, begging God to cause my body to miscarry naturally.  I was thrilled (I know that sounds a bit backward) to wake up this morning to a little bleeding and cramping.  It looks like I may do this on my own after all!  It is very slow going though, so I am praying the pace picks up a little.

So that's what is currently going on with me.  I haven't blogged much this summer due to the pregnancy.  I appreciate your prayers for quick physical healing!

Our Homeschool Curriculum 2011-2012

I'd like to share what we're doing for homeschooling this year!  I'll do it one child at a time each day, starting with the oldest.

Andrew is 16.  He is basically doing 11th/12th grade simultaneously this year.  He's been working really hard to complete 4 years of high school in 3 years.  That is one of the joys of homeschooling--being able to do that.  So if his list looks LONG....that is why!

Bible--Switched on Schoolhouse: 12th grade Christian Faith and Living, Vision Forum's "Defending the Christian Worldview", the book "In His Steps"

Algebra--Teaching Textbooks (math is not his strong suit, and we are not making a big deal about it.  The line of work he is going into does not require high levels of math.)

Language Arts--online writing classes through Time4writing.com.  He'll take Essay Writing, and then Essay Writing for the SAT.  Wordly Wise 11 and 12 for Vocabulary.

History--Truthquest History Age of Revolution III

American Government (1st semester)--Alpha Omega Lifepacs

Economics (2nd semester)--Alpha Omega Lifepacs, "What Ever Happened to Penny Candy?"

Spanish--Rosetta Stone online: he has half of Spanish 2 to finish (he would have finished this summer but we ended up with computer issues), then he'll go onto Spanish 3 and 4.

Flash Animation: online class

Biology:  Alpha Omega Switched on Schoolhouse:  He has the second half of this to finish.

Health:  Abeka

That's it for Andrew!  He's excited to finish up.  We're going to do a graduation ceremony through our local homeschool organization.  He's excited to go to the local college and get into radio broadcasting.

I'll share more tomorrow....

Should Moms "Follow Their Dreams"?

I ran across an article recently that didn't totally sit well with me, and it really got me thinking.  The article was about a homeschool mom being able to "follow her dreams" even while she homeschools. Well, what do you think?  Should a wife/mother/homeschool mom "follow her dreams"....or not?

I say NOT.  I know, my blog is always spoiling all the fun, huh?  But a woman's dream is most likely just that: HER dream., not necessarily God's.  It is something that will divert her focus off of God's calling for women, which is to be a helpmeet to her husband, a keeper of the home, and a nurturer and trainer of children.  These three things make a woman's plate very, very full!   Add on homeschooling, and we've got an overflowing plate!  If God has called women to these things, then why would he call them elsewhere, away from there?

We are called as Christians to walk as Jesus walked.  This means we are to LAY DOWN our lives for others.  Does this mean you may have to lay down a dream you have?  It just might!  If you have dreams and ambitions for your life that are outside the sphere of caring for your home and family, I greatly encourage you to take these to the Lord.  Ask Him to take away the desire if they are not of Him.  It may be that the desire will be totally taken away, or it may be that they are for a later time in your life when your kids are grown up.  But please, lay these down before the Lord.  This is the way we are called to live.  Not pursuing our dreams, desires, and passions, but laying these down and seeking the Lord for what His desires are. Then His desires will become OUR desires.

"But God has called me to this," you may say.  "God has called me to be a teacher," "God has called me to work outside the home,"...has He really?  Are you sure?  God will never go against His own Word.  Please be SURE.  Study His word very, very carefully. 

I am speaking from experience here!  Several years ago, I had a desire renewed in me to be on stage.  I love to sing, act, and dance, and have been told by many that I have talent.  I have also been encouraged by some well meaning people that I need to be pursuing these gifts that God has given me.  Well, I did pursue them for awhile.  But everything I did took me away from my calling to my family.  As I pursued MY dreams, I found my focus greatly changing.  I became very self-focused, and actually started resenting my family because I felt that they were keeping me from my dream.  My husband could see what was happening, and told me that I needed to lay down my desires and focus back on my family.  I became angry at him for "keeping me from chasing my dreams".  Do you see my point here?  They were MY dreams!  Not God's!  God's desire for me is to focus on my husband and children and home.  Thankfully, I eventually became flustered with my continuous unfulfilled desire to be on stage.  A couple of times I had solos in a show, and ended up giving them up because the stress of it (I'm very hard on myself!) was too much for my family.  So I ended up praying that if this was not God's will for me, that He would take away the desire.  I prayed this believing that the desire would never go away, because I couldn't imagine it being gone! But it did go away!  I can tell you right now, I no longer have any desire for this.  I still love to sing, but I use my voice now to sing to my children.

Well, that is just my two cents for today.  Have a blessed day, and I welcome your comments!