The Lord Giveth, and the Lord Taketh Away...

Blessed be the name of the Lord!  My plan has been to do several posts on homeschooling, which I will be getting to, but I've recently been thrown off and thought I would share what has been going on.  I am currently going through my 3rd miscarriage.

On July 2nd, I was overjoyed to find out I was expecting.  I spent most of July and August nauseous, tired, and completely drained.  I was hardly able to do any of the things that I had wanted to do: gardening (I've kept up on the garden but didn't do nearly as much as I had hoped to), canning, making jam, etc.  I put off my OB appointment for awhile, and from time to time wondered why I didn't feel quite as nauseous as I normally do.  I wondered if maybe something wasn't quite right, but kept pushing it to the back of my mind and telling myself not to worry about it.  In fact, that's why I put my appointment off for so long, because I was afraid of bad news.

Last Wednesday evening, I went to the bathroom and noticed a little bleeding.  I hoped it was nothing, and was grateful that I had an appointment and ultrasound the next day.  Looking back, I am glad that I had the warning of the spotting the night before, because it mentally prepared me for the possibility of bad news the next day.  The next morning, at what should have been 11.5 weeks pregnant, I had an ultrasound.  I could tell immediately by the quietness and the face of my doctor that all was not well.  Unfortunately, the baby had never hardly developed.  There was basically just a big blob on the screen, and no heartbeat.  With my last pregnancy, I had gone in at 10 weeks pregnant and seen an obvious squirming little baby on the screen, so I knew this was not okay.  I started to cry, and the doctor and nurse were so kind and sympathetic.  As you can imagine, this was very hard news for me to accept.  All my dreams of that little baby suddenly were squashed.  The baby was not there.  There would be no little precious life being born in the spring. My teenage daughter texted me soon after to check on things, as I had confided in her that I was spotting and that there was a chance of bad news.  I was thankful for texting because I was crying so hard I couldn't talk.  I told her the news and asked her to pass it on to Daddy and her brother and sister.  It was very hard.

I was given three choices: wait and let my body miscarry naturally, take a drug called Cytotec to induce miscarriage, or schedule a D and C.  I opted to wait it out, but was told if it didn't happen within a week, I needed to choose one of the other 2 options.  After a lot of research, praying, and talking with my husband, we decided to go with the D and C if my body didn't do it on its own. 

God is good, and in His way that only He can do, He allowed me to grieve the loss very quickly.  I cried for a day, and woke up the next morning totally fine.  I grieved that fast.  He has helped me to focus on the positive, which are many, many things, the biggest being that I do have four beautiful, healthy children.  I am so grateful for that!  The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord!

I have been praying hard, begging God to cause my body to miscarry naturally.  I was thrilled (I know that sounds a bit backward) to wake up this morning to a little bleeding and cramping.  It looks like I may do this on my own after all!  It is very slow going though, so I am praying the pace picks up a little.

So that's what is currently going on with me.  I haven't blogged much this summer due to the pregnancy.  I appreciate your prayers for quick physical healing!