Monday, February 7, 2011
Are We Done Yet?
Are we done having kids? How in the world should I know? Am I God? Why do people ask me that like I am all-knowing and I SHOULD know?
THAT is how I mentally respond to that question now. I don't know. I can't know. It is not my call. I am not in control.
The word "control" is the very problem of the term "birth control". We as humans--especially control freaks like myself--want to be able to control everything. This is not of God. There is no peace in that. As Christians, we are to submit ourselves to God and His will for our lives. We're to take our hands off the controls and give them to God. "Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 I think that means all areas of our lives, don't you? I don't think I can say I trust in the Lord with all of my heart, and then say, "okay God, I'm just having 3 kids, alright?" Who are we to just TELL God that?
Anyone who knows me, knows that I have come a long way in this area. After my first three kids, I was adamant that I was done having children. I never wanted to become pregnant again and I was even afraid of the possibility. I believe that my exact words were, "if I ever find out that I'm pregnant again, I will jump off a cliff!" Ha ha...I did end up pregnant again and I am still here, so the cliff jumping never happened. Baby number four was a HUGE surprise and shock, and boy did God do a work in me through that pregnancy! He taught me so much!
He taught me to surrender everything. There was a time that I thought I had fully surrendered to Him, but the truth was that I had surrendered everything except childbearing, which I had tucked away in a little private pocket that I thought God wouldn't see. I hid it and kept my tight little fingers on it, and wouldn't give it to anyone, ESPECIALLY not God! But one day, He made it very clear...I was to give up birth control and trust HIM. He is the one who opens and closes my womb, and He will decide when my womb is done bearing children. The amazing thing was that I hadn't even said anything to my husband, and the next day he told me basically the same thing...that we shouldn't use birth control anymore. What a confirmation!!
I am not pointing a finger at you and telling you what YOU should do. I am just telling you what God has taught me, and what He has told me to do. Everyone needs to seek the Lord for their own families, and we definitely need to follow the lead of our husbands. Pray, give this area of your life to the LORD (that is the hardest part), ask your husband what he feels is the right thing to do, and submit to his decision. This is God's way, my sisters, and it is good. He has set it up this way because He loves us and it is best for us!
Now I'll finish up with a couple of things for you to consider. Consider first what the Bible says about children, and then consider the history of the birth control movement.
The Bible says that children are a gifts and blessings. "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them..." Psalm 127:3-5
I recently started studying the history of the birth control movement. When you are born in a time like ours, it is easy to be accustomed to the way that things are done, and to forget that things were not always done the way that they are now, and that not all things are being done God's way. Nowadays, it is just the norm to assume that everyone will use some form of birth control. People plan when they will start having kids, how many they will have, what they will accomplish before they have them. Well, this has not always been! It wasn't until the feminists emerged with the women's rights movement that there was a major birth control movement, and the introduction of the birth control pill. This not only caused the outlook on childbearing to change, but it also made promiscuity much easier!
I believe that feminism is one of the greatest reasons for the downfall of the family. When women decided that they needed "rights", and that staying home with their families was not enough, they went to work and abandoned their posts. The family has fallen apart, health issues are on the rise because healthy meals are not prepared at home, crime is rising because children are not supervised. It's a mess!
Below is some information about the birth control movement that I found online. Read it, read the Bible, pray, and God will guide you. Much love to all of my sisters in Christ!