"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Miscarriage Story...Part Two

For those of you who may be wondering, I will share what ended up happening with my miscarriage.  As I shared in my last post, I started bleeding on my own.  Unfortunately, that dragged on for over a week and got REALLY old.  I was miserable...still feeling icky and nauseous but for no reason anymore.  I wanted to get it done and over with, so I called my OB to schedule a D&C.

The day before my D&C was scheduled, I was sent in for an ultrasound, just to make sure that there was actually a need for the procedure and that the pregnancy had not passed on its own.  I hadn't had any major bleeding or cramping so I thought it highly unlikely that I had passed anything, but still prayed that it was all gone so I wouldn't have to undergo the surgery!  But as I suspected, everything was still intact...the sac, the embryo... EVERYTHING.  At that point I was 13 weeks along, and was told that the embryo looked like it had stopped growing at 6 weeks.  So sad.  All that time, I was no longer pregnant and never even knew it.

Around the time of the ultrasound--I think just a little before I got there--I started cramping pretty badly.  At first I thought it was because I hadn't taken any advil for awhile, because I'd been taking it frequently since the bleeding started, due to the aching and mild cramping.  I left the ultrasound and drove home, and when I got home I was in pretty bad pain.  Eventually it got to the level where it felt just like labor pain.  This was NOT a fun time.  Suddenly I found myself in the bathroom, doubled over in pain, sitting on the toilet passing tissue (sorry if this is too much information).  Meanwhile, for some reason, my 16 month old decided to start screaming and would not stop.  He stood on the other side of the bathroom door screaming.  This was just an absolutely horrible time for me.  I was in severe pain and couldn't leave the bathroom because stuff was coming out of me, and my toddler was inconsolable. You know how little ones can pick up on when something is not right.  My two daughters, bless their hearts, were doing the very best they could on the other side of the door, but he wouldn't stop crying.  I finally threw on a pad and ran out of the bathroom, grabbed Adam and hugged him, and just cried.  That lasted a minute or so, and then I had to run back to the bathroom and just took him with me. My poor daughters!  They are so kind and brave, but they were so worried.  I kept passing tissue, and then suddenly I started bleeding heavily.  So heavily that if I put on a pad, I instantly soaked through it.  I knew this was not okay, and that the bleeding was too heavy.  I needed to get to the hospital.

I had to think quickly about what to do.  My husband wasn't home.  He was working a very rare late day, and wouldn't be done until about 8 pm, and it wasn't quite 6:00 yet, and I knew there was no way he could get out early. Should I call an ambluance?  Could I drive myself? (Yes, I'm crazy, but I did consider it...but then decided that all the blood loss may cause me to pass out while driving.)  Who should I call?  I ended up calling my friend Edith, and she hurried over right away. We headed for the closest emergency room, which is about 15 minutes away.

The nurses and doctor at the ER were very kind.  I was still bleeding heavily when I got there, and the doctor did an exam and kind of "cleaned" the area out.  Not fun, but I was glad that I was in good hands.  Eventually the bleeding slowed down and they did an ultrasound to see if I had passed everything.  Unfortunately, I was told that there was still one piece left.  After about four hours, I was sent home, told to take cyctotec at bedtime to help that last piece pass, and call my doctor in the morning.

I did what I was told, and in the morning my doctor told me to come in for another ultrasound.  When I used the bathroom that morning, I passed a big piece of something, so I was excited and confident that everything was out.  After all, I had just been told that there was only one more piece, and I just passed a piece, right?

So on to the ultrasound I went.  When I got there, I was very upset to find out that not everything was out of my uterus yet!  I was so upset!  And I was soooo hungry!  I had missed dinner the night before due to being rushed to the ER, and had eaten just a little bowl of cereal when I got home.  At breakfast that morning, I had poured a bowl of granola, but had gotten distracted and didn't eat much of it.  I was so confident that I wouldn't need the D&C, that I figured I would eat when I got back from my ultrasound.  But that was not to be!  It was around 10 am, and my D&C was scheduled for 3:45, and I was not allowed to eat anything before it.  I left the ultrasound hungry and in tears!

Compared to all of this drama, the D&C was a piece of cake.  It was quick and easy.  My OB said that there was still a big piece left in me, so she was really glad that we did it.  If I could do it all over again, I would definitely have scheduled the D&C right away in the very beginning, as soon as I found out the pregnancy was not viable.  It was a pretty good experience, and the actual miscarriage was NOT. I didn't expect that, as my first two miscarriages were not nearly so hard.

After the D&C was done, the grief came back and hit me hard.  I spent a lot of nights crying.  I'm doing better now though.  I know God is sovereign, and this all has a purpose. 

Thank you for letting me share my story.  This has been a long hard summer.  I'm thankful that God's mercies are new every morning!

7 comments:

  1. I'm praying for you today April. This is a difficult time for you and breaks my heart to read but I know God's grace is sufficient. In our times of trouble He is our help. I'm praying for strength for you today. Keep pressing on Sister.

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  2. I'm so sorry. You have been through a lot and I'm sure it will take even more time for you to heal- as much as you possibly can heal. I will be praying for your physical and emotional healing as well as for God to reveal His purpose in all of this.

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  3. Dear April, I am so sorry. I know what this must have been like for you. I lost a baby at around16 weeks myself.

    Unlike you, though, I started spotting and took to my bed in fear of losing the baby. After a day though I started to cramp pretty badly and bleed more. My husband rushed me to the maternity hospital and the doctor did an ultrasound and said that the baby had detached from my uterus. I was in denial though.. I didn't want to to do a D&C because I felt like I was removing the baby voluntarily. I couldn't accept that he/she was dead. I sat in the reception area, the cramping had stopped a bit and felt so numb.. I couldn't make a decision, then I felt like I needed to use the bathroom. Right there.. my baby slipped out into the toilet! A little six inch white sac that held my lost little baby. It was one of the most traumatic things I have ever endured. I know that dark place. There is hope and there is healing in the sharing.. thank you for sharing your story. I, too, will be praying for you.

    God bless!

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  4. April, you know I grieve with you..and my loss is still fresh, as well. It will be 4 months on the 27th of this month, that I had the D&C at 14+ weeks for babies gone to Jesus. It gets easier, as you know, but I will always think of my little ones, and how hard it was..

    The further along that you are, the higher the chances of heavy bleeding, infection, etc. Even though I'm the "natural" girl-homebirth and all, there are some things we need to look to the medical establishment to help us with. I am thankful for the D&C, as my body wasn't going to take care of this loss on it's own. I waited and was also bleeding heavily.

    God Bless you, and I'm praying for you continually my sister.

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  5. April,

    I am just now reading this. I have taken a bit of a break from blogging. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. There's healing in sharing. Your desire to please the Lord is evident in your writings.


    Love,
    Jamie

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  6. Thank you so much everyone, for all of your sweet and kind words! I really appreciate it very much.

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