"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Seasoning my Speech with Grace

Lately the Lord has been really convicting me about having more grace in my speech.  He brought to my attention that more often than not, I am talking to my husband and children in an unkind and impatient way.  Honestly, this is not the vision that I have for myself as a wife and mommy, and I am very disappointed in how I have been speaking.  Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."  So I have been purposely paying more attention to how I talk--with HIS help--and being slower to speak...so that I can make sure that my words come out in a kind way. James 1:19-20--"So then my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.  For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." And it's not just words, it's also tones.  I've been purposely using more joyful tones (I'm not talking Barney here, just cheerfulness), and putting on a smile.  It seems that my default tone had become snippy and grumpy, and I don't know how that can possibly be uplifting to my family. "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."  Yikes.  That's a very convicting verse.  No corrupt word.  Only words that edify.  Only words that impart grace to the hearer.  And I think that is especially important for us mothers....but also definitely harder because we are around our kids all day long.  Yet that is not an excuse.  God gives enough grace for whatever task he has called us to.  If we ask Him for help, and we purposefully watch how we speak, He will help us to speak words of grace that edify.

How do you talk to your husband?  How do I? Like I stated, God has brought to my attention that I have been too snippy and rude and impatient and angry...and on and on and on.  Not okay.  It's just not.  I can't be that way anymore.  Two verses in Proverbs compare a quarrelsome wife to a constant dripping.  (Prov. 19:13, 27:15)  Two other verses state that it's better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife (Prov. 21:9, 25:24).  Another one states it's better to live in the desert.  Hmmmm....clearly God does not approve of a wife being quarrelsome.  And when I respond to my husband in a snippy way, that is definitely a way of starting a quarrel.  Proverbs 15:1-"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."  Stirring up anger would equal being quarrelsome.  Gentle answer....where else does the Bible talk about being gentle?  1 Peter 3:4 says your beauty "should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."  Gentleness is also a fruit of the spirit.  Are you speaking to your husband and children in a gentle way?  I would like to challenge you to join me in this endeavor to season my speech with grace, which would be with God's grace...because without HIS help it is impossible.

I pray that God will bless each one of my readers!


  1. OUCH! You are so right. Dangit. But His grace is sufficient, and thinking it's impossible is my unbelief talking. Great post!

  2. Thanks for the encouragement! So true.

  3. I really needed to hear this today! Thanks!
    I will try harder to speak kindly to my children, and husband.

  4. Hi! I'm visiting from the Raising Homemakers Link-up, and we are (especially I am) really struggling with this issue lately. I've even started memorizing Ephesians 4 through that section about speech. Thank you for the encouragement!

  5. Hey April, I totally made Karis read your blog as a lesson the other day. Now she and I are both working on it together. Slowly. Sometimes. :)

  6. I wrote about something along the same lines a few months ago.


    It's so important to speak words of life to everyone we cross paths with... ESPECIALLY those we love! It's something we struggle with a LOT in our house... in fact, in order to keep my husband and me accountable, my daughter's first memory verse was Proverbs 15:1. That way she can help us out and tell us if we're not speaking soft words!

    Great post!

  7. Hi! I found your blog from Homemaking Linkup, and I wanted to say that God has also convicted me in this area, especially in the last few months, and I'm working on it. It's hard, sometimes, but I find that if I get enough sleep and quiet time with my Lord, I do better. And I've let my husband know I'm working on it, so he can gently say, "That was sharp, hon." :-)

    On a side note - I LOVE Above Rubies:-) (I see the button for them over on the right. )

    Thanks for posting! (Mine is the one about the Thrifty Pantry Meal for Shepherd's Pot Pie.

  8. I needed this reminder - thankyou. I too find myself speaking to my beautiful family unlike the way I would like to be spoken too at times. Praise God for new beginnings!
    PS I found your blog through the link up also!